Dream of Nobody
by Miku Siran
Summary: EO! Silence lingers between them as words become weapons and love turns to pain. But when she faces her hardest challenge, he will stop at nothing to be the rock of her world again. However, he may be too late.
1. Beginning in the Dying

Dream of Nobody

Chapter One

Beginning in the Dying

Thanks to onetreefan, MissFantabulous, Hkitty9013, Little People, KaydenceRei, TV Angel 711, Beautifully Tragic-Tragical Beautifully, LivNel4ever, MerdithandDerekfanforever, PaceyW'sgirl, Psycho Strider, sergeant happy bunny, and obsessedwithstabler for reviewing on Memories of You and Me so that I can really start this one. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Law and Order SVU.

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_I never thought that this job would be so difficult, but now I know. There's a difference between being undercover for one night and working undercover, being someone else every single day. I keep to myself and put out a face that's not even me. I've learned to answer to Persephone and to ignore the name Olivia, even though the sound of my old name still does something to me that I can't explain. _

_I wonder how they're doing. I know Cragen would never let Elliot work alone, I wonder who's replaced me. Do they even miss me? Stop doing this to yourself Olivia. You can't afford to be distracted. I don't know these people around me. I never will and they will never know me. I have always been the type to be upfront with people. To let them know how it is, but now here I am, lying my way through every second of every day. Part of me feels like I'm trash, but the I guess I have no choice. I am doing my job, no matter how much I hate it. _

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"I got something Elliot!" Dani called to her partner.

He was beside her in seconds, peering over her shoulder in a way that made her heart quicken. He was studying the tiny piece of fabric Dani had in her hand.

Melinda saw this and raced to her side, grabbing it out of her hand with a pair of tweezers.

"You're supposed to put on gloves before you touch any evidence." She said forcefully, annoyance very obvious. "You should know that."

"Hey Melinda, let it go. We've been working too much overtime." Elliot said with a small smile.

Melinda just glanced at him with an exasperated expression on her face as she handed Dani some latex gloves.

"Casey's gonna be mad if that piece of evidence gets thrown out of court." She said, bagging it. "Don't let her bite my head off."

She walked away rather quickly, not really wanting to be around Dani Beck any longer than she had to. For some reason the blonde set her off. She hadn't done anything to really piss Melinda off, but some of her little mistakes drove Melinda nuts. The M.E. knew that Olivia would have never made those mistakes and Dani was trying to hard to replace the other detective in Elliot's heart and place in the squad. Melinda didn't appreciate it and she and Casey had spent many nights on the phone talking about it. She wondered if Elliot was really blind to all of Dani's mistakes.

Back in the squad room, Dani sat down in Olivia's former desk. Elliot and she started to discuss the case, their options, and possible suspects. It was almost as if Elliot had forgotten all about the golden brunette that used to sit in that desk. Cragen watched this exchange from his office. The Feds had contacted him. Olivia's case was reaching the closing point, one or two weeks she would be home again. Watching Dani and Elliot laugh and chat, he wondered if Olivia Benson still had a place in the 16 th Precinct.

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Alex sat in the office with the Feds. They had finally tracked down the people that had anything to do with her attempted murder, but they were linked to another case. They had refused to give her details, but Alex Cabot was still an attorney at heart. Sure, her name was changed, her job was as boring as hell and in her mind, pointless, but she still had the tone, the demeanor, and the calculating mind of someone who had worked in criminal justice and thrived in the environment.

They gave in. Some of the members of the party who wanted her dead were using the cover of an animal activist group to market some of their drugs. The group is also suspected of violent activities which were being investigated. It was the perfect cover, but one that the Feds did not overlook.

"Who's working the case?" Alex asked, doodling, her new nervous habit.

"Detective Olivia Benson, I understand you know her."

Alex smiled ever so slightly. "Yeah I do and if she has the case, then I'll start packing my bags out of this hellhole." She said, getting up.

She showed them out of her 'home' and then smiled to herself and started to pack up her belongings.

She had a life here, but even the temptation of her fiancé was not enough for her to stay. He didn't know her. He thought of her as a blonde southern belle named Emily. She was anything but. He was a lawyer for the insurance company she worked for and she saw him cheat people out of what they rightfully earned. He would explain law things to him and try to make her see how clever he was, but she would just smile to herself. She knew the same tricks inside and out. He was sweet to her, but he didn't know the extent of her mind, the background of her family, or the jobs she used to work.

She didn't look forward to telling him about who she really was, but she was looking forward to New York, her friends, and the job that she used to have.

_Olivia will solve it._ Alex told herself with a smile. _She always does._

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Olivia's case was coming to an end, finally. They had enough proof to put all the suspected party away for life. Olivia had managed to use bribes, coaxing, and various other tactics to obtain important information allowing the Feds to finally pull a stop to the case. She could finally go home. She just had to make the arrests without any incidents.

"Ready?" she asked Star who was sitting next to her, pulling on a bulletproof vest.

"Always" she said with a grin.

"Remember these people are armed." Olivia said, taking obvious charge in this case. "They're probably high too and will stop at nothing to make sure that their 'other' business isn't hurt. Careful around the new members of the group that know nothing about their violent protests and don't put anything past the old members."

Star nodded, respecting Olivia's insider point of view on the case. She was running the lead and Star had no problem with it.

Satisfied that she had adequately warned her 'friends' what they were getting into, Olivia opened the door to the abandoned warehouse she knew the suspects were planning in. She knew what it was all about too. Bombing another building, the lives inside didn't matter. Her gun ready and held firmly, she burst in yelling,

"Police, drop the weapons and put your hands on your head now!" She yelled, gun drawn, raised, with Star and several other agents right beside her.

The dealers opened fired on them as they shot back. The first bullet hit Olivia full on in the stomach, but she thankfully was also wearing a vest. She was thrown back from pain and velocity, but she managed to pull off a round of shots, taking down two of them. Star took down two more and the last one dropped his weapon as Feds surrounded him, slapping on handcuffs.

Olivia was breathing hard as she realized that one of the men was missing. Her heart gripped. She spun to see him enter behind them. He open fired hitting Olivia. Star stepped in and fired out a clip. He went down as Olivia sank to her knees, bleeding heavily. Star quickly applied pressure to the wound.

Olivia's world was spinning in and out as Star talked frantically on the phone to an ambulance. Blackness was clinging to the edges of her vision as she struggled to comprehend what was going on. Blood was seeping onto the floor and Olivia's eyes closed, not wanting to see the sight of her own blood turning the floor red.

She couldn't die. Not yet. Not while she hadn't said good bye to the people she loved the most. She was so close. So close to home. She couldn't die now. Not yet. Not until she could be with them one more time. Hear Munch's outrageous comments. Fin's taste in music. Laugh with Casey and Melinda.

Her mind paused, comprehending for the first time what it was like to die. Elliot. He would never forgive her if she left him this way. He would lose it. He would probably kill the Feds. She couldn't leave without holding him one more time or looking into his blue eyes to see that intensity of the gaze only he could give.

_I love him. _ She thought with recognition. It had taken so long, but she finally knew what those words meant.

"Elliot."

Star heard so softly that it would have been only the whisper of trees in the wind. She saw Olivia's lips move.

"Elliot." She breathed. "Elliot."

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Author's Note:

This is my introduction chapter. How's is that for a bang? More EO on the way. I need to depict Olivia's return and Alex's and Dani's good bye and then the painful side of EO before the happy side. The basics of every story, but there's a twist toward the end. What if Olivia forgot all about Elliot? GASP! Can that even happen? We'll see. Heheh. I'm evil. I hope you guys enjoy this!


	2. Home Ain't That Sweet Anymore

Chapter Two

Home Ain't that Sweet Anymore

Thanks to Lunar Kitty Kat, DrusillaBraun, gigletrig, Sqully, DivaLola, Beautifully Tragic-Tragically Beautiful, MoonPrincessx88, flowermeadow, Psycho Strider, Chelsea, LivChic, Hkitty9013, Little People, TV Angel 711, LivNel4ever, KaydenceRei, onetreefan, phantomliberty, AngelEyes2332, Alexis, LivElRocks a lot, obessedwithstabler, Sweet-4-Stabler, and MissFantabulous for their reviews! Thanks so much! I got more feedback then I ever expected!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Law and Order: SVU. There are producers who believe that fanfiction robs them of business and that readers will not watch their show. They have it the opposite way around. Fanfiction is like an anthem to all the shows you guys made that we just can't get enough of.

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Top of Form

Top of Form

Olivia awoke to two blue orbs peering down at her behind black glasses. She stared for a moment before realizing that it was Alex staring down at her with an amused expression on her face.

"Alex?" she murmured.

The blonde gave her a wolfish smile. "Glad you remembered, though I remembered specifically that I told you to stay outta trouble." She teased.

Olivia grinned in return in spite of her drowsiness and spinning head. "How long have I been out?" she asked, propping herself onto her left arm, since her right was in a sling.

"Three almost four days." Alex replied lightly. "How you feeling?"

"Excited." She said. "I can go home."

She smiled. "Yeah you and me both."

Olivia's eyes widened. "What? Are you serious? You're coming back to New York? What about your life in Washington, your fiancé, your job?" she exclaimed bewildered.

Alex shrugged. "None of which are half as important as my job in New York and in a place where I sit at home every weekend watching my fiancé cheat people out of their money." She replied. "Now hurry up and get better so we can get our asses back to New York. My stuff is already in boxes."

Olivia smiled. "So you were waiting on me?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah and you're slow."

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"Hey Elliot?"

"Hm?" he asked turning to his partner. She was pretty with her hair in a French braid. Nothing as spectacular as his old partner, but she wasn't pathetic looking.

His mind wandered to Olivia for a moment, one of those rare moments where he permitted himself to think of her. He wondered what she was doing at the moment, stopping terrorists? Running around? He wondered if she was thinking of him or her old life. Did she ever miss them? Or had she gone on to green pastures without a look back? Did she like working alone without having to glance over her shoulder to make sure he was okay, to make sure he didn't lose it and cross a line with a perp? Was it a relief to her to be only worrying about herself?

The thought wasn't comforting to him. He had allowed himself to believe that he and Olivia's partnership would last forever. That nothing would ever come between them. He had been so wrong. A case had come between them and the path that Olivia had chosen, he could not follow.

"Hey." Dani said again, giving him a push on the shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He replied, after all what was there not to be fine about. It was time to move on. Olivia was history, Dani was now.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later." She said. "You know. Just you and me, this time."

He smiled at her. "Love to. Let's head to O'Malley's after shift."

"Sounds like a plan." She replied flashing him a smile.

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Olivia and Alex were currently rooming together as they both got settled back into life in New York City. Two bedroom apartment about ten minutes from the precinct seemed like a perfect place. However, at the moment, the place was a mess, boxes everywhere. Both of them were too tired to unpack. The time difference was starting to take a toll on them.

"When do you think we should go see Cragen?" Alex asked, leaning back on the couch.

"After we've seen Melinda and Casey." Olivia replied.

Alex gave her a curious gaze. To which Olivia easily replied, "Yes we both want our jobs back, but I want my girls back first and to get a feel from them, how much has changed since we were gone."

"Smart." Alex said, stretching with a grin. "I'll call them up. Give them the biggest surprise of their life."

"I don't doubt that."

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Casey was just coming out of court with Melinda after a messy hearing when her cell phone chirped. The number on the ID came to be unknown. She made a face. It had better not be telemarketers, she had had enough annoyances for the day.

The voice that spoke on the line, however, made her stop dead in her tracks.

"Olivia?" she said getting an amazed look from Melinda.

"Oh my God." She said, nodding, while Melinda scrambled for the phone. A couple more nods and yeses. People staring as the two girls scrambled for the phone. Finally Casey hung up.

"She wants us to meet her at that coffeehouse where we used to sit and chat. The usual booth." Casey said.

Melinda was almost giddy with excitement. The third of their little entourage was back. The games could begin again.

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The redhead led the way into the coffeehouse. Her briefcase and some files tucked underneath her arm. Melinda was right at her heels. The two of them made their way to the corner booth were they were staring at the back of a blonde head.

Casey was confused. Did Olivia go blonde? Then the detective came up behind her. Now Melinda and Casey were both very very confused.

"Hey Casey, Melinda. How are you guys?" she asked.

"Uh." Casey started, then the blonde turned around with a smile.

Melinda shrieked out loud. Alex leaped out of her chair to embrace the coroner, tears running down her face. Meanwhile Casey was embracing Olivia tightly. This was perfect. Melinda thought their threesome would be back, but now Alex was too. It was so perfect that no one noticed everyone in the coffee shop staring at the group of them.

When everyone settled down, they sat down in a circle, to trade gossip, share stories, do what girls do.

"So what's like back at the precinct?" Alex asked, sipping on a hot vanilla latte.

"Same old disgusting perps doing the same old disgusting things." Melinda replied.

"They never change." Casey added, with a shake of her red head.

"How's Elliot?" Olivia asked.

Casey and Melinda looked away. They had expected this question, but neither had come up with a good answer. No matter how they worded it, it was still the same old thing that was gonna break their friend's heart. They exchanged glances as Olivia judged their expressions.

"You guys can tell me. I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

Melinda gave Casey a nudge underneath the table with her foot. They had already done this game before, trying to decide who would be the one to tell her. Casey, sadly, had lost that game of rock, paper, scissors.

"He's been seeing his new partner." She blurted out.

Alex sat back with a wide expression that was almost identical to Olivia's.

Olivia started. "Are you guys sure? I mean are you sure they're not just partners?" she asked, almost with a childlike hope.

Melinda hated to bust Olivia's bubble, but she had no choice, it was the truth. It was better that that the detective hears it from them instead of Elliot, or worse, Dani herself.

"We're sure. Casey and I were at O'Malley's last night and we saw them. Unless they were investigating a crime in each other's mouths, they're together." She said.

"They're together." Olivia repeated softly, almost distantly.

"They're together."

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_This was not how I imagined me coming back to Manhattan. But come on, Olivia what did you expect? For them to throw himself into your arms and tell you how much he missed you? Of course not. Pull yourself together. Be happy for him because he would have been for you. _

_He sure did replace me fast though. I mean a few months and he's already exploring her mouth? We were together for seven years. Hey Olivia just shut up. Maybe this girl's prettier, or has something you don't. Don't think on it. You're just gonna torture yourself. _

_It's too late. I'm already hurting. I called Kathy a fool for letting go of such a wonderful guy, but now I'm the fool for making the same mistake. I waited too long, until he was gone. I wish I could say it doesn't hurt, but it does. It hurts like hell. I almost wish I had never come back. Looking at the girls around me though, I know it was good that I did. If I hadn't come back, then I wouldn't know about this and I would still be hanging on. Though be truthful to yourself Olivia, does knowing this change anything? _

_No it doesn't. I still love him. It doesn't change a thing. _

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Author's Note:

Merry Christmas everyone! I am incredibly bored, so I decided to update. Here is it. I wish I updated sooner, but I needed some ideas. More angsty EO on the way followed by drama and then God knows what else. Enjoy!


	3. Forget Me Nots

Chapter Three

Forget Me Not

Thanks to nicole812us, Tommys my 21, BrittanyLS, TV Angel 711, Beautifully Tragic-Tragically Beautiful, romeoharvey, Lunar Kitty Kat, nickysbabygirl, Nix707, sportscenter, Hkitty9013, onetreefan, Little People, gigletrig, sergeant happy bunny, ChrisMeloniismysexymanbeast52, LivNel4ever, and obsessedwithstabler for their reviews! Sorry this is coming out so late!

Disclaimer: I own nothing that pertains this show or this show itself. It belongs to Dick Wolf. I'm so jealous.

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She entered the precinct with a confident bounce in her step. Something about coming back to her life here was a miracle in itself. She tried so hard to solve the case and come home. Now that she was home, she wasn't sure how she fitted into this life anymore. She forced herself not to think on it. Heads turned, admiring her.

She had allowed her hair to get longer while she was gone, pulling it up now into a high ponytail. She had always been pretty, but now that she had an air of confidence around her, a woman who knew herself and had embraced every obstacle in her life and thrived on each situation, she was even more attention grabbing than before.

"OLIVIA!" Came a yell.

She felt two explosions on her back. Regardless of the situation, Munch and Fin were glad to see her.

She returned their hugs with beaming smile.

"I should have brought cupcakes." Munch said.

Fin rolled his eyes. "He'll eat them all before he even gets here." He mumbled.

Olivia laughed. "Is Cragen in his office?"

Fin nodded.

Olivia bid them a quick farewell and knocked on her captain's office.

"Come in." A tired reply came from the door.

She opened the door and stopped, allowing him to stare at her, up and down, checking her body for any visible wounds.

"I'm in one piece." She said with a smile.

"I can see that." He replied with a laugh. "How was working for the Feds?"

She made a face as her answer.

"That bad?" He asked her.

She smiled. "Do you need another detective?" she asked.

He returned a smile. "If you're the detective in question, always." He answered.

"When I can I start?"

The phone rang and Cragen held up a finger as he answered. A couple nods as Olivia wandered around his office, glancing at the little forget me nots hanging on the walls, feeling comforted at the familiarity.

"Hey Liv?"

"Yeah?" she asked turning.

"Can you start now?"

She smiled. "Hell yes." She replied.

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Alex and Casey strode into the DA's office chatting quietly, heels clicking on the worn out floor.

Heads turned as they came in. Alex was back. She was supposed to be dead. They were watching a living corpse reenter their lives. At least for some of the people in the office. Others had known about her situation, but had never tried to figure out where was or wonder if she would ever come home.

"Alex."

"Hey Jim. What's up?"

"Branch wants to talk to you." he said. "Glad to have you back.

She gave him a smile and gave Casey a pat on the back and slipped into Branch's office.

"You wanted to see me."

"It's nice to see you again." Branch said.

"Likewise. I've been gone for a while."

"Yes you have."

"Is that all you have to tell me?" Alex asked. "I was just coming in to see if I could start working here again."

"I'll do you one better. My term as DA is ending this year. I'm not running again."

Alex saw where this was going. "You're asking me to run?"

"Yes I am. Until then you can work for me as an ADA, but I want you to run for my position."

"I'm not really a politician." She said softly.

"That part's only temporary. I just feel like you'll be able to handle this office better than some of the hotshot younger DA's that think they know everything." Branch replied.

"What about Casey?" Alex asked.

"I considered her, but her age is what's going to limit votes and she's happy where she is. She's good, but the ADA's are going to respond better to you rather than someone's who's work fewer cases than they have even if they have an extremely high win/lose ratio."

She nodded. "All right. I'll see what I can do." She said softly.

"Thanks Alex." He said. "And it's good to have you back."

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Olivia was unpacking a box of the basic necessity she needed to do her job. A computer wasn't set up yet, but she had a laptop, which she pulled out and set it on her desk, not her old one, but the one by the window closest to Cragen's office. A drawer was filled with clips, rubber bands, and some extra pens.

A sound of laughter from the doorway filled her ears. She knew who it was without turning. His laugh was always loud and full. It fit him. She felt a smile fill her face without being invited.

He stopped in the doorway and saw her back. Despite the longer hair and the ponytail, he knew it was her. The way she carried herself, the way she wore even the simplest clothes, it was all Olivia and he knew her by heart.

"Liv..." He said softly.

She turned to cast her hazel green orbs upon him. "Elliot." She said softly.

Overcome with the emotion of that one word, he moved away from Dani's side and enveloped Olivia into his arms.

"Olivia," He whispered.

He felt a degree of emotion that scared him. Missing her had been killing him. He had used every other way he knew how to numb that pain and drive her from his mind, but now that she was standing before him, her warm body in his arms, those emotions returned heavy and full force.

He imagined what it would have been like if Olivia hadn't left, if he had been brave enough to admit to her how he felt about her. Would she have been in his arms again? Would she have been the one that he would be lying next to at night? He glanced at Dani out of the corner of his eye and then buried his face back into Olivia's golden brown hair.

"Hey." She murmured back in his ear. "How have you been?" she asked as she pulled away.

"Okay. How about you? Like working alone?" He asked.

"Hardly." She replied.

Dani cleared her throat and moved past Elliot to come face to face with Olivia. Dislike was obviously written on her face.

"Olivia Benson." Olivia said with a small smile, extending a hand.

Dani glance at the offered hand and ignored it. "Dani Beck."

Olivia ignored the impolite response and focused her attention back on her cases. She had only been back for an hour and already she had cases piled on her desk.

"Rape and murder. Central park." Olivia said, moving past them to pin a picture of the crime scene onto the bulletin board.

"Second one like it this month." Dani said. "You sure you still got the stomach for this kind of crime?"

Olivia glanced at the blonde, almost like she was sizing her up. Curly blonde hair that was pulled tightly in a braid that was falling apart. Worn jeans and sneakers with a simple shirt.

"I think I've got more than enough stomach after where I've been." Olivia replied slowly. "Just don't make another mistake with bagging the evidence."

Casey had told her all about Dani's mistake with a vital piece of evidence. She hadn't worn gloves and the defense attorney had blown that piece of information right up to the moon when Casey brought the case to trial.

"I'm not the one that caused a boy's death because I was stupid enough to get close enough to be stabbed." Dani hissed in reply.

Olivia felt anger, but only for a moment. There was a time where she would have punched Dani right in the face for a comment like that, but she had learned and grown. Self control had been vital to her job and she now had iron control on her life and reactions.

She took the higher road, the one that Dani obviously had no interest in even driving by.

"I did what I had to do." She said. "It doesn't always work out the right way."

Before Dani could interject another nasty comment, Elliot interrupted the back and forth lashing.

"Okay anyway, the victim is still in the hospital." He said.

"I'll attend the autopsy." Olivia volunteered

Dani glanced at her and opened her mouth, but Elliot cut her off.

"Actually, Liv I was hoping you could come to the scene with me." Elliot said. "The case is extremely similar to a case we had a few years ago."

"Seriously?" Olivia asked. She had yet to look completely through the file, having only the gotten the case five minutes ago. She looked now. The scene was eerily familiar.

"Oh man." She said soflty. "Do we have an ID on the victim?"

A familiar face entered the precinct. "Yeah."

"Oh my God." Olivia breathed. "Special Agent Donovan. You're supposed to be dead."

He laughed at her reaction. "Well I'm still breathing." He replied. "And I have the ID of your vic."

Olivia took the file that he handed to her and flipped through it. "She's a Fed?"

"Yeah." Tim answered. "Special Agent Khandi Jones."

Elliot took the file from Olivia and then sat down on the desk right beside her. "She was working undercover?"

"Yeah, drugs." He said.

"Can't get out of the business can you?" Olivia teased.

He laughed and then asked, "Hey is Alex back too? I heard that she was back in New York."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged a quick glance at each other, conversing without words. One that wasn't lost on Dani who begun to envy the closeness and connection that Olivia and Elliot had. She had never lasted long enough in any squad to build a strong relationship with any of her partners.

Olivia answered Tim's question. "She's at the DA's office."

"Thanks." He said.

"Hey Tim?" Elliot called.

He turned.

"Be gentle with her." He said, inferring more than he should have, but hitting the target.

Tim smiled and walked out.

Dani fidgeted. "Who's he?"

"Someone we worked with on a case a long time ago." Elliot answered. "Liv, crime scene?"

"Yeah." Olivia said, grabbing her coat.

Fin and Munch were also grabbing their coats. "We'll go to Melinda's."

Dani beat them to the door, calling. "No I'll go."

Fin and Munch shrugged. "We'll go through the old case and find more connections and then listen through the 911 call." Fin said.

Elliot nodded. "We'll call you if we have anything."

"Likewise." Munch replied.

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"What's your read on her?" Elliot asked, as they drove toward Central Park.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, answering his question with a question of her own.

"As a cop."

She threw him a sideways glance. "You mean as a girlfriend."

"Whatever gave you that impression?" He asked.

"Uh, her jealously, and the gossip flying around the precinct." She said.

"Ok fine, you got me. What do you think?" he asked.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "You want the truth or you want me to sugar coat it?"

"Hit me with the hard facts." He replied.

"She's a bit territorial about the wrong territory." She said. "Take my advice as a friend, Elliot, and not the wrong way. She's bad news."

"I think I can decide what kind of girl is right for me." Elliot said with a touch of annoyance.

Olivia threw her hands up in the air. "Sure whatever. I'm just letting you know."

She placed a gentle hand on his arm. "As a friend." She said softly.

"Thanks for looking out for me." Elliot said softly.

She gave him a smile with a touch of affection that went straight to his heart. "Always." She whispered.

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_I don't know how I did that. I told him what I thought and even though he was annoyed I know he'll consider my words. He pretends he minds me caring, but I know he doesn't. We have a connection, one that I'm positive that Dani will never even begin to break. I know it bothers her. It would bother me too if it had been Elliot and Dani. _

_I know I should care more about this whole situation, but I don't. It's strange. I'm actually content. I know he and Dani won't last. How I know that, I don't know, but he'll come back to being Elliot. He hasn't changed. _

_I watch him as we drive to the crime scene and when we arrive and step out, I feel this strange sense of familiarity once again. This is what we do. This is where we're both at home. _

_We exchange another glance. Despite what's going on in our personal lives, we're always gonna be close. That will never change, but that doesn't stop me, stop me from wanting to be the one coddled and loved in his arms or the one to look into his blue eyes and see a degree of love that would frighten and enthrall me. That doesn't stop me from wanting him. _

_Dani's lucky. She has him, even for a moment. She's lucky. I wish I could be the object of his affections, even for a few seconds. That would be enough to satisfy me for the rest of my life. _

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Author's Note:

Hey people! I'm sorry this has taken me so long to update. I was running out of ideas because there was a huge lack of Olivia in a bunch of these SVU eppys. But after last week's eppy I couldn't help but want to write this fic again. I love that show. I hope you like this chapter and it'll get more exciting later. I'm just trying to build the exposition. Alex and Olivia are back. Alex is running for head DA. Tim likes Alex. Elliot and Olivia still have their connection.


	4. Tension at the Door

Chapter Four

Tension in the Door

Thanks so Marish89, Beautifully Tragic-Tragically Beautiful, BrittanyLS, MissFantabulous, DrusillaBraun, JennBenn3148, Little People, sergeanthappybunny, Tamasit1, nicole812us, TV Angel 711, SVUfan1006, mentalcase911, C.T., EnglishJumperChick13, ok, Hkitty9013, spacemonkey1129, onetreefan, and obsessedwithstabler for their reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in law and order, or any other show for that matter.

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"So she was raped here, the usual signs of a struggle, but no drag marks. This was definitely the scene of the crime." Olivia said, scanning the area with a hand, shading her eyes.

"This just got blown out of proportion." Elliot said. "The vic was a Fed, that's gonna muddy up the waters a bit for us."

"I'm not sure the perp knew though," Olivia said. "Something in my gut tells me it's a serial. Her being a Fed had nothing to do with it."

"Your gut isn't as good as physical evidence." Elliot said.

Olivia was taken back and only a step away from Elliot was the sign of that feeling. He had never spoken to her like that before. The warmness of her hand on his skin faded away as she realized that her Elliot had changed. Dani had changed him and so had the world.

"I'm sorry, I was just stating." She said.

"I can't present your gut in court." He said.

She shook him off. It wasn't worth getting into an argument now, but concern was etched into her features as she walked toward him.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Nothing." He said. "I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

He glared at her. "I don't need a mother Olivia. I need a partner right now. Stop treating me like one of your victims and start treating me like a cop."

He didn't know why he was losing his cool or why he was taking out his anger at the nearest possible target, Olivia Benson. He just knew that the time that she had been gone had been rough on him, his feeling of abandonment and upon her return, he had let his care for her cloud his judgment. He took her back when he should've been angry at her betrayal. He forgave her before he knew that there was so much that was unforgivable. He felt that anger again at the familiarity of working beside her, as if nothing had happened, no change had come between them.

But change had. Time had torn open wounds in him that refused to heal. This angered him and he directed his anger to the only one who would bear it.

She didn't answer him, just stared at him for a moment. Then she turned away, her hair falling over her eyes as she focused on the crime scene. They worked for the rest of the day in silence, not silence where they were comfortable and at ease with each other, but one of discomfort. Olivia was trying not to provoke Elliot further, while Elliot was trying to keep his rampaging emotions under wraps.

They bagged and took notes and then piled into the car.

"Want a coke?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "I don't drink coke."

He glanced at her strangely. "Why?"

She shrugged, "It's bad for you."

"Oh." He said.

Then silence lingered again. It was a relief when they arrived at the precinct and Olivia could leave the beacon of awkwardness and tension behind. Dani was waiting at the doorway.

"Took you long enough." Dani said.

"We were thorough." Olivia said.

"Thorough or wasting time?" Dani asked.

Olivia glared. "As thorough as a cop would be." She said coldly, eyeing her. "Or at least should be.

"Don't criticize someone else's efficiency when you have none." Dani said.

"Well then we don't have a problem." Olivia said through gritted teeth.

Elliot came up behind them. "That's not fair Olivia. Dani's got more collars than anyone I know."

"Collars but few convictions." Casey said, coming up the steps with Elliot behind her.

She had a briefcase in one hand and a smirk of contempt on her face as she gazed at Dani. "You skip around evidence and only take what suits your assumptions."

"Is that an accusation Counselor?" Dani hissed.

Elliot stepped between them. "Let's not fight." He said slowly.

"No let's." Casey said.

Casey wasn't hearing any of it. She had just had a horrible day in court due to another one of Dani's mistakes. The defense had shredded her apart on a missing piece of evidence that Dani had failed to present to her. It had been an extremely difficult and embarrassing trial, but Alex had been present and during recess had run down to Melinda for anything that would've saved the case. They succeeded and won the case, but there was still a stain on the thoroughness of the prosecution.

"You really think you could take me counselor. I mean you spend so much time in court and so little in the streets, I would think you to be a bit more on the weak side." Dani said.

Casey scoffed. "Detective, keep this up and I'll have your job."

"Is that a threat?"

Casey was about to hit her and Olivia said it as well. Assaulting a police officer was not something that Casey needed. She laid a hand on her friend's arm and cautioned her with a glance not to lose her mind.

Casey slightly relaxed under the pressure, but her green eyes didn't move away from Dani.

"No, it's a warning. The DA's office has no tolerance for officers who don't do their jobs. If you keep giving my cases a swirly, they will consider you for reassignment." Casey said.

"Thank God, I don't work you." Dani said.

"But you work for me." Alex said as she approached. "At least you will, if you want to keep your job, I suggest you start doing it."

The blonde turned to her girls. "Anyway, guys? Want to go?"

Olivia nodded, "Let me just get my coat."

"Alright, meet at Melinda's place." Casey said.

She grinned as she headed inside. With another glare, Dani followed and so did Elliot with a slightly embarrassed expression on his face.

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"What was that out there?" Elliot asked.

"She approached me, questioned my methods. I responded." Olivia said, all professional.

"Yeah, in a completely inappropriate manner." He stated.

"What's come over you Elliot? Before I left, you would've had zero tolerance for Dani's behavior around cases, why are you making exceptions now?" Olivia demanded.

"Because unlike you, she's the kind of partner that doesn't just pick up and leave without a word of explanation!" He roared at her.

Heads were beginning to turn toward them, while many others were trying to slip out of the room. Dani was watching with a satisfied smile on her face. So the duo wasn't as perfect as everyone else had described. It never crossed her mind that she may have been the cause.

"I had no choice, Elliot." Olivia said her voice lowering.

"You had a choice Olivia. You chose the wrong one."

"Since when was it wrong to save lives?" Olivia questioned. "We're cops. Isn't that what we do? Isn't that what we owe to the people that we promised to protect?"

"What about what you owe your partner?" He asked. "What about what you owe to a friend? To me? Huh? Tell me!"

Olivia looked away. "Good night Elliot." She said, turning away and heading out quickly so that he would not see the tears that were beginning to form in the corner of her eyes.

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Alex was heading to her car when a voice called to her from behind. She turned to find herself face to face with someone she thought she would never see again.

"Oh my God." She breathed, unable to look away, but afraid to keep looking.

"Hey Alex." Tim said with the same charming boyish smile that Alex had last seen him wear before she saw him die.

"How?" She asked.

"Same way as you." He answered.

Alex is usually the type of woman to figure it out by herself. She was the type of woman who always had her own emotions and reactions within iron control and never was the type to disbelieve anything when evidence is presented right before her. Tim was the evidence, but she found it hard to believe.

She reached out and then yanked her hand back.

"Are you really you?" she asked, blushing when she realized how stupid the question sounded.

It was not like she and Tim had ever had anything on the side, but she never stopped thinking about his boyish charm or the way he had tried everything in his power to make sure that the case that had taken her life for so many years would not take her life or her pride with it. She owed him so much and when he 'died', she had felt an overwhelming sense of guilt that still kept her awake at night.

He opened the car door for her. "See? Really I'm human." He said with a grin.

She found herself smiling back and then felt grateful that the darkness that was rapidly falling on the New York skyline could mask the feminine blush that was warming her cheeks.

"Well good to see you again." She said.

"Likewise." Tim said.

Something in the way he looked at her, made her uncomfortable as much as it warmed her. Something in his voice made her turn her head to gaze at him and suddenly she wondered what would've happened between them if that case had never been blown so out of proportion.

She shook the thought from her mind. She would not go down that road again. She had crashed at every turn and finally learned to stick to the one way lane. She would not give another person the chance to leave another scar. She started out with so much trust and left herself open but as time went on and men came and went, she closed and locked each door in her heart and now there were none left.

"Do you want to go out to dinner sometime?" He asked her.

She hid herself behind her quick tongue and cool wit.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have work, lots of it, and none of them involve a charming ghost that pops out of nowhere in a parking garage." She said quickly, slidding into her car.

Tim was taken back by her sudden change in attitude. He hesitated, unsure of what to do. Ask her again in a more romantic manner, or just drop it. She gave him his answer.

She gunned the engine forward and pulled out of the parking lot before he had a chance to collect his thoughts. He shook his head and watched her red lights disappear around the corner. Alex Cabot hadn't changed. Love was still something she had yet to truly learn.

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Dani and Elliot were the last ones left in the precinct. Even Cragen had gone home after a long day of dealing with crime that no human being should ever even be capable of.

"What is she to you?" Dani asked.

Elliot glanced at her and paused before he answered with a question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean how important is she to you? When she came back you were about to cry your eyes out." Dani said.

"She's my best friend." He said slowly. "It's normal to miss your best friend."

"Best friend or girlfriend?" she asked.

"Best friend." He said bluntly.

She looked at him without a word, but her expression said everything.

"Elliot, I'm a pretty outgoing woman, but if you ever cheat on me, I swear I will put my gun to good use on you and her." She said.

"You better not let her hear you say that." Elliot warned, "She might beat you to the punch."

Dani smirked. "You know her that well don't you?"

"Seven year partnership, you get to know someone." He said easily, as if his bond with Olivia was the most natural innocent thing in the world.

"Right." She said.

He was afraid. His love for Dani was nonexistent. He didn't even understand why he was even with her. He didn't love her, barely respected her and had only eyes for Olivia. Yet he was afraid to lose her. Afraid to be abandoned again. He had convinced himself that Kathy would never leave and she did. He had believed that Olivia would never leave him either and she had. He was falling fast and Dani was the only one that hadn't fled from him yet.

She may have meant nothing to him, yet that insanely human part of his mind would not let her go. When habits form, they're hard to break. He had clung onto few people in his life and one by one they left. Now she was the only one that remained, by chance, fate, and cruelty, she had been the one to still be by his side.

Olivia believed she had done nothing wrong and Elliot knew that she hadn't, but that selfish human part of him could not forgive and could not forget.

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She drove with tear-filled eyes. Her headlights were the only ones blacktop road and the moon was a sliver in the night sky. She furiously wiped the hot tears from her eyes as she steadied the wheel before her. She stepped harder on the pedal, in desperate need of consoling words and bright cheery lights that she knew awaited her at Melinda's.

Her vision blinded, but nothing could have made her miss the figure running beside the road. She pulled her car to the side and ran out. A young teenage girl was crying furiously as she fled from the light.

"Hey hey." Olivia called, catching up to her.

"Please help me." The girl cried, sobbing as she trembled and sank to the ground.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, sheltering the girl. Her clothes were torn, probably from the bushes that she had been running through. An ugly scrap ran down the side of her face along with a blackened eye.

"It's okay. I'm a police officer. It's okay, do you want to go downtown and talk to me?" she asked, making her voice soothing and gentle.

"She's not going anywhere." Came a hard voice.

She looked up into the eyes of pure evil and felt a chill run down her spine. A gun was pointed directly at her face. Her mind was only on the victim. A victim she had sworn to help. However, having a gun in your face limited your movements. She thanked God that it was dark and one hand reaching into her pocket, pressing the speed dial for Elliot and letting it ring.

"Hey, easy now." She said outloud. "Let's not do anything rash."

He smiled crazily at her. He was jumpy, a sign of drugs and he reeked of liquor. She knew she was not dealing with a sane man.

The younger girl whimpered and he startled at the noise and Olivia pushed the girl behind her, facing the shaking gun head on.

The phone was ringing and then a yell.

"DETECTIVE BENSON! HOW CAN I HELP YOU OR DO YOU JUST LIKE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE'S BOYFRIENDS FOR NO REASON AFTER SHIFT?" Dani's voice ran over the line, louder than anything Olivia had ever heard over the thundering of her own heart.

So high on crack and pot and whatever else was flowing through his system at the moment, he reacted and overreacted. His finger pulled the trigger and Olivia felt only a second of pain before she was consumed in darkness.

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Author's Note:

Hey peeps! I hope you enjoyed this! School is starting to get heavy again so my updates may become even slower, so forgive me about that. Enjoy!


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